21 December 2011

Christmas songs that should be retired

During my two and a half years in retail at Bed Bath and Beyond, I worked - no suffered - through at least two holiday seasons. The craziness of the shoppers wasn't the problem. The five weeks of stale Christmas tunes was the torture only a retail worker can understand. The regular classic tunes were fine but after the 12th time hearing them in one day they begin to annoy and anger the listener. My angst against Christmas music has continued - even ten years later - and while a most of the songs I can stand between Black Friday and Christmas day, there are a few gems that make me cringe anytime I hear them.

1. Wonderful Christmastime - by Paul McCartney

"The merest snatch of the squelchy synth intro to this festive monstrosity is enough to drain the Christmas cheer from St Nicholas himself," said Chris Vinnicombe on MusicRadar.com

2. Favorite Things by Julie Andrews

This song has reached my top list of horrible songs because it isn't even a Christmas song. It's a song from a musical. I also despise it's message about 'things.' This is my least favorite thing about Christmas - the commercialism of it all.

3. Do They Know it's Christmas by Band Aid II (Feed the World)

This song was created by a group of stars to help the children of Africa. While this is worthy cause, the song sucks and the lyrics are terrible. I mean, do Africans even celebrate Christmas? Are we going to convert them? What is the point of the song? It's the whole Californication thing where everyone has to be Christian and 'proper.' The song was a nice idea but it falls short of the message and now it's just annoying.

While Christmas tunes generally make me scream, I've become okay with a few funny ones.

Bob and Dougs "12 Days of Christmas"
"The 12 Pains of Christmas"
"Christmas in Hollis"
"Baby Please Come Home" by U2
"All I want for Christmas is You" from Love Actually - not the Mariah version
and to give a little to those Hanukkah celebrators out there "The Hanukkah Song" by Adam Sandler