MINIBot vs. the Firepit

How a fight broke out between me, the MINIBot, and a fire pit.

In preparing for a Pre-Fourth of July bash, I purchased a freestanding fire pit at my local Wally World. I've always been crazy jealous of any one with a fire pit in their backyard and the $48.00 deal was the clincher. I found the 30" Round Home & Garden Outdoor fire pit on the second shelf - and of course, out of reach for my short stature. It also looked heavy and the last thing I needed was to throw out my back at in the Garden Center of the Jordan Landing Walmart.

It took me a second but I actually found an employee in the next section... unfortunately the acne-covered teen pawned me off on the non-existent garden center crew by saying, "Um, I think the Garden Center can help you. They might have to use that scissor thing." As I walked back to garden center and through the sliding glass doors to the outdoor area of the store, I passed the 'scissor thing' and noticed that it was a smaller one of those lifts that construction crews use to fix power poles and traffic lights during rush hour.

When I found another employee, he was working at the register and couldn't leave. He did ask the lady restocking flower stuff to help me - third time's the charm. I walked her over to the fire pits and pointed out the one I wanted. I usually pride myself on being pretty self-sufficient with lifting and finding things in stores but the box was awkward. After the garden center lady reached up and easily pulled it off the shelf, I just thought "Wow! I'm now that girl in strappy sandals at the Big Ass Show clutching my Kate Spade purchase trying to keep my hair from getting messed up." Flower lady and I rearranged my already-selected stuff to get the big square fire pit box into the cart.

Only after purchasing the fire pit and walking to my car did I think that it might be too big for the MINIBot - even with the seats down and the front seat pushed up all the way. I parked the cart next to the MINIBot and opened the boot.

Hmmmm...

This could be tricky.

I loaded all of the small stuff into the front seat (which I pulled completed up). I moved all extras from my tiny trunk space (yes, MINI coopers have a trunk). I then picked up the rather light fire pit box and began to push it in flat.

No.

I twisted the box to a diagonal angle.

Nope.

I flipped the box thinking that one end was larger than the other.

Fat chance.

Breathing heavily and now worried that I'd have to make other arrangements to get the $#%& thing home, I tried to think of other options. Maybe it would fit into the back past the front seat. The problem in getting it into the back of the MINIbot was that there were two ledges (one on either side of the car) about two inches from the back hatch door and halfway up each side that held the top that covered what was in the trunk while the seats were all up.

Maybe the box would fit into the MINIbot if I pushed the box in behind the passenger seat. I moved the stuff I had just squished into the passenger's seat and pushed the seat forward all the way.

Narp! (DAMMIT!!!)

I put all the stuff I just removed back into the passenger's seat and put the seat back into its spot. I looked at the box. It was square and packed well (to not damage the coolest purchase ever).

What if I removed the packaging? The actual pit might fit into the car while the box was too big. But I didn't have a knife.

KEYS!

I pulled out my MINIbot's tough laser cut key and began to hack away at the packing tape that seemed to cover every inch of the box. This was more difficult than getting into a new DVD.

I pulled and yanked and the lid came off. Styrofoam encased the fire pit and it came out in pieces covering me in little static-y balls of white snow. I mutilated the entire fire pit's nicely presented packaging while innocent families and other onlookers watched my almost manic behavior.

UGGGHHH!

I pulled out piece after piece of the pit and then came the moment of truth: the round base and largest part of the fire pit. I pulled it from the styrofoam and carefully pushed it through the back door of the MINIbot.

IT FITS!!!

I did a little happy dance and placed the rest of the parts in the back of the MINIbot. The demolished cardboard, styrofoam, and plastic that had encased the fire pit was loaded back into the cart and wheeled to the flower/plant entrance of Walmart. I told the not-so-helpful workers that I had to remove the fire pit from the box and I didn't want to be 'that customer' and leave it in the parking lot. They looked at me like I was crazy... but I didn't care. I had just battled for 30 minutes to get my new purchase into my tiny MINIbot... and I won.

The MINI vs. a foot of snow

Originally Posed on MySpace (Thursday, December 20, 2007)

Living in Utah it's inevitable that you will encounter snow during the winter months. Occasionally you can even find snow falling from the clouds clear into what normal cities consider Spring (like April). About two years ago I finished my AS degree and decided to buy a new car. I had some money saved up and wanted to buy my dream car... a MINI cooper (see "The Italian Job"). I love my car. It's fast and small and very fun to drive.

Last winter I timidly drove around in the snow wondering how well the car would handle. To my excitement my small car handles well in the wet and snowy weather. It doesn't slip or go too crazy so I felt very comfortable as the winter season approached.

The first big snow was, fortunately, on a Saturday so I didn't have to battle other cars trying to force their way down the road to work. My only task that day was to meet a friend to buy our Linkin Park concert tickets as they went on sale that Saturday morning at 10AM. I thought... my MINI was good in the snow and as long as I just got out of the driveway I'd be fine. So I got ready, jumped in the car (parked in the garage) and started the car. I looked back to check for neighbors shoveling the foot or so of snow on the sidewalks and saw no one outside. I put the car in reverse and rammed on the accelerator. As I flew back I sailed into the middle of the street and stopped. I made some tracks and pulled back in for my second try at getting out of my neighborhood. I paused and then, again, romped on the accelerator and reversed through my previous tracks this time turning when I made it to the street.

Unfortunately I became stuck. I'm not talking a little stuck, I'm talkin' a lot stuck. I had to stop the car, go back into the garage and find a shovel to dig myself out stuck.

After I dug all the snow out from under my small car's frame, my neighbor pushed my car as I drove the MINI back into the garage. Defeated in my attempt to leave the house in a car that resembles a go-kart, I began to shovel my driveway and call my friend to tell her she'd have to get the tickets with out me as the MINI-bot (yes, this is a Transformers reference) couldn't make it out of the neighborhood due to the foot of snow on the ground.