1. Accidently make eye contact with a local Channel 4 news reporter while casually walking toward the doors to the lobby of the Sandy Century 16 theaters with your friend, Siobhan.
2. Agree to be on camera when said reporter asks if you would be willing to talk about your thoughts on something you know nothing about.
3. Giggle nervously because you can't think of anything fabulous (or shall I say coherent) to say.
4. Babble. Not Babel, as in the 'Tower of' that God smote. Babble, as in ramble, or talk like a crazy person until you start giggling again.
5. Be too busy to get your bangs cut - and too scared to cut them yourself because of the bang-cutting incident of February. Because seeing them live on the news in the wind is the best way to realize that you need them cut now.
6. Make a sarcastic comment and fumble through the explanation.
7. Rinse and repeat 3, 4, and 6.
Fortunately my escapades into commentating on local events have not been posted online. But go to channel 4 for the story about the "Busted" magazine that features mug-shots of Utah's most wanted only for $1. You may get a link that will showcase my brilliance with the press.