My mission for 2011... if I should choose it

Resolution #1: Uggg - will obviously lose 20 lbs. #2: Always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional f***wits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.

Inspired by Bridget Jones, I'm going to work on me this year and rant about it.

I'm not calling them resolutions. I'm calling it my mission... I really don't have a reason why other than it sounds more fun and exciting. I'm now Evelyn Salt Lake on a mission to acquire my targets during the year 2011.

Target #1 - Run a mile
Running three times a week and strength training the other days will hopefully help me lose 30 lbs. and ditch the ever-emerging muffin top that is creeping over my pants. This will also help me actually run - instead of jog and hobble - the zombie 5K in October (and maybe some others).

Target #2 - Travel
My hope is to go to NYC for my b-day but if that doesn't happen I want to go somewhere out of state on a pressurized airplane (not a dumb, nausea-inducing two-seater that goes to St. George and back). Anyone want to go to NYC the first week of April?

Target #3 - Money
Become fiscally responsible. This sounds easy... but can be a real be-otch. Pay off credit card, pay off loan... save for a house.

Target #4 - Chef
Learn to cook 6 new meals. I actually don't hate cooking... I hate not having time to cook. I'm finding that I have a lot of free time and I figure I can learn to make some stuff. My big task is a full turkey dinner. I wonder, do they come without the guts?

Target #5 - World Geography
After hearing that a celebrity was from country of Turkey, the only thing that I thought of was that my cousin's husband was stationed there in the military for a while and did turkeys come from Turkey (brilliant, I know). This sparked my desire to learn about the countries around the world. I want to learn about at least 75 of them this. (Maybe I'll keep this target for a couple of years).

Target #6 - Get Prepared
I believe that building up a food storage and other provisions in the event of a disaster is important. A friend of mine survived the hurricanes and we talked about how she had to make due with her family in an apartment for two weeks without power, credit cards, and grocery stores. I was reminded of this one as I sat reading by small LED flashlight and scented candle light (thanks to those who gave me the candles for gifts... they really came in handy). It was only a couple of hours but what if?

Stacie vs. the liquid eyeliner

While purchasing some replacement eyeshadows at my favorite make-up kiosk, MAC, I decided to try

LIQUID EYELINER!!!

This daring trial period was sparked by MACs very easy looking eyeliner stick.

It looks just like a fancy pen... easy, right?

WRONG!

My first attempt just looked like I took a Sharpie to my top lid. I didn't even get close to the lash line. It was a big disaster that ended with me, a Q-tip, and some Mary Kay eye make up remover spending time together. Luckily, I had tested out my new fangled product at night right before bed.

Yay! Wash my face and forget this ever happened.

The next attempt wasn't much different. I was able to get it closer to the lash line, but then I accidently smeared it in the corner of one eye. Getting better - sort of.

This latest attempt wasn't too bad. If I smudge the eyeliner, it looks like I meant to do it that way. Progress, right?



My goal in 2011... to be able to apply a straight line of liquid eyeliner.

Stay tuned...

Apple Products Make Me Giggle

As a self ascribed Mac Snob, I truly enjoy the Apple company's technology. However, the latest addition to Apple's line up has me constantly giggling - not because of it's awesomeness or it's cool features but because of it's name.

The iPad

The iPad makes me think of another type of pad...


Maybe one day the iPad will come with wings or an absorbency core just like it's friend, Maxi.

I've also enjoyed snickering about Apple's next venture.

The iTampon... oh wait, I think it's just a shuffle.

Addicted to 30STM

My favorite band is 30 Seconds to Mars. I've bounced around for years liking different groups but I would say that I've really obsessed and loved going to see 30STM live. They never disappoint and always put on a great show. For their last tour promoting "Into the Wild," I took along some friends and enjoyed a mixture of old and new tunes. Recently I discovered this clip from the band on YouTube showcasing some of the best moments of the tour and SLC made the cut.

'Rubin and Ed' director invents the next cult wheel

Local filmmaker, Trent Harris, directed the 1991 cult classic "Rubin and Ed" starring Crispin Glover and some other folks. He's continually working on new projects - and when I say working, I mean, directing, writing, editing, producing music, etc. His latest effort is entitled "Last Night at Sweetie Poops". I'm not exactly sure what it's about but it the title includes the word poop.

When I donated some $$, I received a personal thanks on my Facebook account from Harris himself and I thought that was pretty cool. So if you like indie flicks, check out his kickstarter page for a little glimpse of the next great cult film.

Go Galaxy... ya, whatever

After a late-night flick, I returned to an interesting message on the back window of my car.

I was a little annoyed - but not about the message. I was more annoyed that I had to clean my car. The whole incident can be likened to a child using sidewalk chalk to deface a despised neighbor's driveway or a republican moving a democratic political hopeful's campaign sign. It's a temper tantrum over losing to an opponent and I'm grateful that the Real Salt Lake fans i've met and bonded with are better than that!

A sperm on a necklace

Random surfing ended with me at the Tiffany and Co. website browsing their line of silver jewelry in anticipation of my gift to me on birthday #30. During this perusal, I found the Elsa Peretti Eternal Circle charm on the end of a long silver chain.

Is it me or does it look like a sperm on a necklace?

The guilty pleasure... at least one of them

With all the films coming into theaters this summer it feels like nothing has really jumped out and said "YES!! This is the sleeper hit."

Well, that is until I came across the trailer for "Easy A." This film stars some great actors and features "Zombieland" and "House Bunny" star Emma Stone as Olive.

Check out the trailer below:

These cheesy chick flicks are my guilty pleasure (along with the crappy dance movie genre... oh, and the action movies, too) and I've decided to just embrace it. Why fight something that makes you smile or laugh? Live is short... a cliche I know... but it is. I've made a decision that I'm going to embrace what I like and see all the crappy dance movies, overacted action films, and embrace my love of the chick flick. And I hope to see you at the movies.

Better than Asprin

One 8 oz cup of water

Two ibuprofen

One medium-sized popcorn

One medium-sized Vault soda

one 2-hour massage in the D-Box seats at The District Megaplex theater while watching "Inception"

...equals a really interesting way to get rid of a headache.

the 6'7" guy vs. the MINI-bot

It's been awhile since I've posted about the adventures of the MINI-bot.

The first was when the MINI-bot ventured out into 6'' of snow and didn't fare too well. The second was when it ran over a low box and dragged it for a few blocks on the way to the UofU before I had to pull it out using a snow scrapper and a lot of expletives.

The third installment in the MINI-bot adventure series happened during the van Uitert family reunion in Woods Cross, Utah. If you're wondering, van Uitert is a Dutch surname which has descended from the Nederland royalty... okay, not royalty... but that would be cool, right? The name pronunciation is under debate (even with the van Uiterts) and our part of the family pronounces it...


The 'other' van Uitert's have taken up the Dutch pronunciation which is

Say it however you'd like to say it. Let's just say that the van EWE-tert's have a sense of humor about the whole thing and the 'others' are a little more... I'll just stop there.

Anyway, the van Uitert clan came together ate some food, talked and took some pics (because we were all there for once).



After the friendly chit-chat, the jabbing started which included some remarks about how my 6'7" cousin, Kevin, owned a MINI cooper and had to sit in the backseat to drive it with his head out the sunroof. This funny discussion led us to the MINI-bot.

Kevin's MINI was in the shop and so the MINI-bot became the stand-in for Kevin's MINI as he proved to Scott that he could in fact sit in the car and drive like the average joe.

So the moral of the story (or blog) is that tall people really can own and drive a MINI cooper.

Gift shop shirts: The Moab Edition

These shirts were the best of the gift shop shirts that Cindi, Dani and I found while wandering around Moab's main street. Which one is your favorite?

I want my FUSE TV

The only reason I wanted to get the package that was a little more pricey with my DISH Network satellite TV was because it included AMC and FUSE.

AMC fortunately is still available. My ability to watch Mad Men when it returns later this month is not impaired. Unfortunately, my ability to watch my favorite music channel, FUSE, is no longer available. In fact, my ability to watch any music channel is impaired because MTV long ago decided that being Music Television was not as lucrative as being the hub of crappy reality TV.

For those who are out of the loop, satellite provider - DISH Network - apparently decided to remove FUSE from it's channel line up and as of July 1st I've been without one of my favorite channel surfing stops. Instead DISH has inserted PLDIA - a channel that plays lame MTV, CMA and other music channel cast off programming. I mean, if I wanted the CMT Awards reruns I would've watched it on CMT when it aired the first time. If I wanted to watch the 2008 broadcast of the Isle Festival, I would go to a therapist because nobody wants to see that.

I want my FUSE TV!!!

I guess I'm just not understanding the reason behind the switch. I mean, there was no competition. MTV, MTV2 and VH1 have long forgotten that they were channels founded on the premise that viewers could catch a video or performance from their favorite groups of all music genres. MTV began to only show lame reality TV shows and music lovers rebelled wanting to see MUSIC. In an attempt to appease the music viewing masses, Viacom added a second music channel MTV2 to play music videos and other music-based programing. This lasted for a few years and then MTV2 also lost its way and began the downward spiral into reality TV land with the occasional after midnight showing of an hour or two of music videos. VH1 caters to an older more mild rock music lover and CMA caters to the country music fan - they were not threatened by FUSE as the demographic was different.

Boo to you DISH Network. Your inability to give me what I want makes me want to change back to DirecTV or cable. And maybe I will...

If you also find this irritating, go to I WANT MY FUSE TV and email DISH to get the best music channel back.

How to look ridiculous on the local news?

1. Accidently make eye contact with a local Channel 4 news reporter while casually walking toward the doors to the lobby of the Sandy Century 16 theaters with your friend, Siobhan.

2. Agree to be on camera when said reporter asks if you would be willing to talk about your thoughts on something you know nothing about.

3. Giggle nervously because you can't think of anything fabulous (or shall I say coherent) to say.

4. Babble. Not Babel, as in the 'Tower of' that God smote. Babble, as in ramble, or talk like a crazy person until you start giggling again.

5. Be too busy to get your bangs cut - and too scared to cut them yourself because of the bang-cutting incident of February. Because seeing them live on the news in the wind is the best way to realize that you need them cut now.

6. Make a sarcastic comment and fumble through the explanation.

7. Rinse and repeat 3, 4, and 6.

Fortunately my escapades into commentating on local events have not been posted online. But go to channel 4 for the story about the "Busted" magazine that features mug-shots of Utah's most wanted only for $1. You may get a link that will showcase my brilliance with the press.

Ms. Beckerman 'Dreams Big'

It's official Kyle Beckerman knows that I want to marry him.

I promise I'm not dillusional... or have any inkling that I will actually wed the captain of Real Salt Lake soccer team.

Like many, I occasionally make statements about my celebrity crushes. And in this case, I mentioned that I really think Beckerman is cute to many female (and some male) co-workers. He is the Becks of Utah and far cuter that that "other one".

This weekend one co-worker, Steph, was at her second job (a clothing store) working and came upon Beckerman and his parents shopping. She immediately said that her friend really liked him and wanted to marry him. Yep, she did. Anyway he ended up signing a post-it for me that Steph brought in as a belated b-day present. Thanks Steph!

After turning a little red from embarassment as she relayed the crazy story to me, I laughed and excepted my fabulous sticky note... which is now hanging in my cubical next to ticket Beckerman signed for me at the last season ticket holder mingle at Snowbird.

Well, don't 'Save the Date' but instead have a giggle... especially when you read what Kyle Beckerman wrote on my prized post it. Oh, well... a girl can dream.

(Note says "Stacie- Dream Big KB#5)

Hair Brained Ideas

A year ago I decided to grow my hair out, chop it off, and then donate it to Locks for Love. In my hand are several small ponytails with the longest layer adding up to 11 1/2 inches for my donation.

Below is the finished style... it's the shortest do I've had since high school.

Movie Review - The Bounty Hunter

Has Gerard lost it?

In the film "The Bounty Hunter," Butler and his co-star, Jennifer Aniston, play ex-spouses thrown together when Aniston (a reporter) jumps bail and Butler (an ex-cop turned bounty hunter) must bring her to jail. After Aniston's capture, the two exs get caught up in some trouble due to the suicide Aniston's character was investigating prior to her bail jumping incident.

The film was mildly entertaining with a forced chemistry between Aniston and Butler. The Scottish hottie was still quite dreamy and funny (especially while wearing a hideous multi-colored stripe-y shirt). Aniston was also funny but it didn't ever feel like she and Butler connected. I guess as ex-spouses that could be part of the charm.

The real standout performances were from the supporting cast: Siobhan Fallon Hogan as a disinterested secretary working at the Bail Bonds place, Jeff Garlin as Butler's boss at the Bail Bonds place, Carol Kane as the nutty Cupid's Cabin (a bed and breakfast) owner, and my favorite, Christine Baranski as Aniston's Atlantic City lounge singing mother.

This film is not the ultimate must-see in chick flicks but it does hold some entertaining one-liners and far-fetched storylines that can keep an audience interested. If you plan to go, don't expect too much just go and have some brainless fun.

1.5 Monkeys (out of 5)

"The Bounty Hunter" trailer

Movie Review - Diary of a Wimpy Kid

"I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons."

Greg Heffley uses sarcasm and wit to mull through his first year of middle school with his best friend, Rowley. This funny flick brought up memories of my own middle school experience as I thought back to the horror of those days and the fact that I never want to go back.

The film's use of a moldy piece of cheese - left on the blacktop near the basketball hoop to visually show time passing - was both brilliant and creative. But the "Wimpy Kid" showed the struggles of growing up and trying to figure out how to fit in. Bombarded with possible after-school activities to join and being terrorized by older kids (especially Greg's older brother, Rodrick), Greg, Rowley and the other kids discover survival skills as they avoid the bathrooms with no door stalls, skins v. shirts PE games, and wearing ridiculous costumes for the school musical.

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid" might not be the most hilarious movie out there but it was worth a ticket. The kid actors were spot on in their stereotypically middle school kid roles. And the adult actors were surprisingly cast with some greats like Steve Zahn, Rachael Harris and Rob LaBelle - as the safety patrol-loving principle.

2.5 Monkeys (out of 5)

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid" Trailer

Do you like to Twit?

Thanks to a lecture on social network in my New Media class I was able to enjoy this hilarious mockumentary on Twitter. It showcases how Twitter works and why it's a little strange. Enjoy!

School: The Last Semester

"A Thrilling Ride"

BS Magazine

"The story will keep you on the edge of your seat!"

The Chair Union

"The lack of sleep involved is evident in the incoherent ramblings by the lead actress."

Serta Weekly

I'm excited for the incoherent ramblings of a sleep deprived student. It just means I'm almost done. This semester - my last in Bachelorette world - will be a triumph. The expensive text books that are never read, the endless papers that get haphazardly written, and the strange work schedule to accommodate the ridiculous class times are almost at an end.

I feel like doing a happy dance...



...just not like that guy.

An Artsy Sundance Morning

The day started out early meeting Cindi and Jen-knee at Trolley Square to snag some tickets for the 2010 Sundance Film Festival. We had an eleven o'clock time and planned to get there early per our Sundance ticket coaches, Jen and Jon. We arrived and immediately Jen-knee and Cindi planned out our movie experience with preferred times and dates of movies showing later on this month. Jen and Jon arrived (with donuts - it was AWESOME!) and Jon instructed the sugared up Jen-knee on checking the posted available movies. Jen-knee would check the times and Cindi would update the list. After waiting for 10:30 (the time to get in line), I jumped in line with Cindi. We got through the line and finally made it up to a cashier to purchase tickets. I stood behind Cindi as she read off the list of movies and their codes. I soon became fascinated with the two women and their supposed "coach" to the whole Sundance ticket experience. The two women were holding the Sundance movie guide reading the schedule and then sifting to see if they wanted to see the movie. Clearly they were amateurs with a terrible coach on the whole process (Jon is superior). Needless to say... I am attending 5 flicks at this year's Sundance Film Fest and I'm excited.

What I Want to Do in 2010

Is it me or was last year exhausting? I'm not one for resolutions. I'm always saying I should lose a couple of pounds, save money, be a better person... why do I need to make some sort of commitment at the first of the year? Resolutions are meant to be broken... they don't last.

But this year... I've challenged myself to a few goals.

I've made a pact of sorts with Jen and Cindi. We are going to watch AFI's top 100 films (along with the extras in the 2008 update of this list). My only issue is that many of these films I have not seen for a reason - they don't interest me in the slightest. But I am up for the challenge. The only film I refuse to watch again is "Clockwork Orange". That movie is a trippy mid-century version of the future complete with a graphic rape scene - no thank you.




Finish school. This one should be easy since I'm scheduled to finish at the end of the Spring 2010 semester with my B.S. in Communication Technology. B.S. is right... but at least I'll be finished.






Be able to walk up the three flights of stairs at my work without feeling winded. This will be the exercise challenge of the year.







Remodel the kitchen.








Befriend someone new.

Write a story.

Go on vacation.

Try something new.

Learn a new skill.

Attend a new artistic performance or exhibit.








Read a classic.














Work on my crappy high school French.












Become a ghost hunter.